Saturday, September 15, 2012

When in Amsterdam, do as the Amsterdamians do.

I don't know how many of you out there partake in the pleasures of some Mary Jane (being from California I know plenty of folks who do), but even if ganja isn't your bag, it's something you should consider if you're traveling to Amsterdam. As the old adage goes, "When in Rome, do as the Romans do." I'm sure most of you are smarter than our good friend Ron Burgundy and are able to grasp this concept. However, if you are planning on patronizing some "coffee shops" in Amsterdam, there are some important things you should know first. For starters, while it is legal to smoke pot in coffee shops, it is NOT legal to do so in public places. You cannot take your swag to go. So make sure you only purchase what you are able to finish in one sitting. Proprietors of coffee shops take their trade very seriously and are incredibly knowledgeable about the goods they sell. You won't find any skunk weed in these places, and in my humble opinion that is a good thing. When you walk into a coffee shop, like the Jolly Joker or Utopia, the "menu" will most likely be a locked case with the shops selection of pot on one side and hash on the other. Each will have a name and a sample for you to look at. The pot-rista, so to speak, can give you full descriptions of everything from the flavor, the effects, where it came from, its stickiness, everything. The prices will range depending on the quality, as with any product. If you're not usually a pot smoker, as I am not, tell the person behind the counter that ahead of time. They can make sure you still get a quality product that won't send you over the edge too much. Once you've made your selection he will weigh it out right in front of you, or you can do what I did and have him roll it in a joint. I suck at it. Whatever your method, once you've paid your dues and can plop your ass in a seat, light up and enjoy. If you're traveling alone, make sure you are semi aware of your surroundings. You don't want some doped up creeper eyeballing you.

Another highly important word from the wise. It is very illegal to purchase your dope from someone on the street. If caught you'll be thrown into jail faster than busty prostitute (wait, that's legal in Amsterdam too.... You know what I mean). There's no need to buy it on the street when you can get it legally in a shop. You can even buy mushrooms in Smart shops. Lesson? Don't buy it on the street.

Now for my random Amsterdam pot smoking story. I was staying at some co-ed dorm hostel and met a couple of lads from Mexico. We were chatting it up and decided to go get a beer and check out the elusive coffee shops. I, being the marijuana novice that I am, had no clue what the pot-tender was talking about, so I just picked a purple-hued mj and had him roll it for me. I also order a piece of cake, but only because I was a fatty with a sweet tooth. It didn't even cross my mind the cake had pot in it. OOOooooooppppppssss. Needless to say I was slightly incapacitated. Honestly, I could not tell you what the 2 Mexican boys even looked like. I managed to make it back to my hostel, alone, and safely into my room. I was the only female in a 20 person co-ed room. It must have been my lucky day! I vaguely remember passing out on my bed, no blanket, pillow, sheets, nothing. I'm pretty sure my shoes were still on too, aaaaannnnnnnddddd it was only 7:30 p.m. When I woke up the next morning my shoes were off, a pillow had been placed under my head, and someone had sacrificed their blanket for the unconscious damsel in distress. I have know idea which gentleman made sure I was warm and comfortable, but I hope Karma has had his back for it.

Cheers,
Danni
Oddly enough, this is kinda what everything actually looks like after a visit to a coffee shop. Blurred and hazy;)

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